


Crabby day at the beach

by SidMjkGc



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (sort of), Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Hux Backstory, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-16 21:10:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SidMjkGc/pseuds/SidMjkGc
Summary: What happens when a General and a Force-user are stuck on a planet and don't know how to spend their time?





	Crabby day at the beach

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of warning: although the story is set before The Force Awakens, it takes place on a planet vaguely inspired by one we see in The Last Jedi.

It's the first holiday he has in... Forever, probably.

When he was still a child, the school had periodical breaks, like the long one during the summer, and he can remember his classmates going back home, to their families, and then coming back to school at the end of the summer break and telling each other stories of their holidays, of their journeys with their parents. He remembers their eyes, sparkling while they described the places they have seen, the things they have done.

Being his father's son, a break from school meant travelling aboard Imperial ships, talking to important people, staying next to his father's side, hands behind his back to maintain the posture even in his civilian outfit. There was no day at the beach, no walk in the park, not even little shreds of wasted time. Even board games, like chess, were out of the picture.

Kids at school made fun of him, teased him because he didn't know the names of the most famous brands of candy. But he knew the difference between Cheedoan whiskey, Corellian whiskey and Tevraki whiskey, just by their smells. And he already knew how to give orders to soldiers. 

Once at the Academy, the other cadets were jealous of him, of his travels, of his stories of when his father took him to important meetings, jealous of the people he met and the things he knew. They asked him to tell them, sometimes even demanded, but they didn't make fun of him, didn't laugh in his face. Until the lessons started, and he had the best grades everywhere. At that point the teasing started once again, more violent this time. 

But he couldn't care less. They were petty, jealous, insignificant. They were nothing, they wouldn't end up anywhere. He knew what the secret code words were or which handshake to use in each occasion. He knew he had a purpose. 

And he succeeded. 

Now he is a General of the First Order, commander of a Resurgent-class Battlecruiser, leader of an army of soldiers programmed from birth, commander of a base that even the scientist Galen Erso and the Director Krennic would have envyied themselves.

Oh. And he also has a Force user as co-commander.

Not that Hux likes him. He doesn't dislike him. 

Hux didn't disliked him when he saw his face for the first time, and he didn't dislike him when he saw Ren training alone in a room, with only his slacks on. He doesn't dislike his broad shoulder, his large hands, his pouty lips, those big ears, that puffy hair. And surely he didn't dislike it when, after too many drinks at a gala, they ended up kissing and thrusting on each other in the 'fresher. Or when it happened again, and again. 

But no, Hux doesn't like him. _That much_. He can't stand him. At least, it's what he repeats to himself. 

What kind of ridiculous name is Kylo Ren, anyway? And why does he look like a big puppy every time he takes his mask off? 

Hux lets out a sigh. He's trying to relax, and thinking about Ren doesn't help him. 

Although, having a Force user at his side has its benefits. For example, when Hux is scanning his troopers to check any insubordination, just the fact that Ren is looming somewhere in the room makes them enough scared to follow any order. Not that he needs any help for that, but it's still useful. Like Phasma, and maybe a little more.

Today, for instance, having Kylo Ren with him could have been helpful. If everything turned out as planned. As a General, Hux still needs to take part in conferences, meet people to buy weapons or parts for his Base. Usually he sends Phasma or a subordinate, but sometimes he has to do the job. And, yes, Kylo Ren could have been useful this time, scanning the seller's mind with the Force or whatever is that mumbo-jumbo that he does. 

But the seller couldn't or wouldn't come in time. They had found it out right before touching the ground of the planet, an awful planet full of distractions, gambling, races and even a beach. 

Hux was ready to call the day off and go back to the Finalizer and his usual work, when Ren intervened and told him that the troopers with them needed some time off, and both of them as well. Hux snorted.

“What do you mean you don't believe in days off?” Ren asked.

“It's just that I don't see the point in wasting perfect time that could be used to work, Ren.” Kylo made a disapproving face, even behind the mask. His shoulders hanging low. “Besides, this place is full of pointless distractions.” Hux remarked.

“Hux,” Kylo's voice was low and the mask vocoder made it vibrate in a weird way “Your troopers need distractions. They are itching to go out and see with their eyes what this planet offers. I'm sure you can feel it too without the Force.”

Hux watched them: a couple of troopers and an officer were looking out of the porthole, to the city, to the huge buildings at the end of the main street. They were gleeful, full of hope.

“They will spend all of their credits.” Hux said, still watching them, disgust painted on his face. 

“Yes, they will. But it's their credits, not yours.” Ren put one of his big hands on Hux's shoulder “Besides, the seller will come later in the day. We can wait on this planet, let them loose for a few hours. They deserve some time off. And you too.” Ren tighten the grip on his shoulder on the last sentence.

“Fine.” Hux sighed “But only until the seller arrives.”

And so, now, Hux is sitting alone on a desert beach, trying to remain in the barely useful shadow that the ship is casting. He doesn't know why he agreed on going on the beach with Ren. He doesn't even like it: it's uncomfortable, there's sand everywhere and it burns hot, he's sweating under the sun and he had to take off his regulation shirt. His hair is sticky, falling over his forehead. He doesn't know where to put his hands, and certainly he doesn't want any more sands on his sweaty palms, so he decides to push his legs up and hug his knees. He is still uncomfortable and there's too much light. He closes his eyes.

The sound of the waves is soothing, it kinda reminds him of the days on Arkanis, of the rain constantly beating on the roof and the windows. And the little breeze helps him a bit to relax. But the sun... He hates it. He likes the sun when is far away, when its hot rays are blocked from the glass of a porthole. He loathes the sun. The only thing for which it might be useful is when he can use it to recharge a weapon. 

Ah, his weapon. His great achievement. They came here to discuss and maybe buy some stuff, but the seller is terribly late. And now he's stuck on this stupid planet, under this stupid sun, with the stupid Kylo Ren and his stupid idea to take a day off and stay on this stupid beach. Hux would have been grateful to remain aboard the ship, but no, Ren had to tease him, had to tell him he was too pale, and now is sitting under the sun out of spite, with his hands gripped tight on his legs, his eyes squinted in the light and his regulation shirt beside him while his undershirt is starting to soak wet with the sleeves rolled up on the shoulders.

He doesn't know where everybody is gone. Ren suggested to change clothes, to leave the uniforms behind, in order to better mix with the crowd of the city, to be unrecognisable for now. And when they left the ship, and he made that comment about Hux's paleness, Hux saw him go to the 'fresher with the corner of his eyes. 

He doesn't know where Ren is now, doesn't even care. The only thing that Hux wants is for the sun to disappear, stop being so hot. Maybe he also craves a smoke, but he didn't have the time to grab his cigarettes while storming out of the ship, and left them there.

And then, suddenly, something cold and wet is stinging his bare shoulder.

Hux jerks away, unfolding his legs and loosing a bit of his balance, he snaps his eyes open to see what's touching him, and what he sees is a terrible monster: its eyes are just two dark needles piercing into his soul, it appears to be covered by a thick hard brownish skin, and there are two antennas moving and pointing at his face. The monster has also two claws that are snapping and making an awful sound near his head.

Hux tries to reach with one hand for his blaster to shoot the monster, before he remembers he left it on the ship near his cigarettes.

He's still balancing himself, one elbow on the sand, trying to focus on the monster, when it finally hits him that it's a just a lobster, and that there's a figure attached to it, and the figure is Ren.

“Kriffing hell!” Hux shouts sitting up “What the fuck are you doing?!”

Ren is completely naked before him, but the lobster somehow tied to his dick. And now is chuckling. No, he's laughing, bend forward with his hands on his knees. 

Hux is watching him with completely utter disgust. Ren recomposes himself a little, wipes away a tear and sniffs. 

“Look at your face!” Ren says, and chuckles some more.

Hux is still looking at him, disbelief in his eyes.

“I found it there,” he gestures to somewhere in the distance behind him, “It's dead, but look, look!” he points with his finger at his crotch.

The stupid lobster twitches its antennas, snaps the claws and there's that atrocious sound again, its little legs move as if it were running on Kylo's dick.

“I can make it move! With the Force!” Ren starts to laugh at his own joke.

Hux makes a face, his lips are downwards in disgust. While Ren is still laughing and marvelling at his own power, if Hux can call it that way, he grabs his uniform jacket and stalks to the ships. “I'm leaving” he sighs out, telling it mostly to himself.

“No! Wait!” Ren calls him back, but Hux is already closing the ship door. 

Hux finds his cigarettes, lights one and puffs a cloud of smoke while Ren is still calling his name from outside.

“I'm naked! Hux!”

“I don't care!” Hux yells back waving sarcastically from a porthole before going to the 'fresher to wash his hot face. 

He doesn't know why he has to put up with Ren. Sure, they have to work together because the Supreme Leader asked them to, but he didn't ask them to mess with each other, and they are doing it anyway. Multiple times, if Hux can recall correctly. 

But sometimes Ren seems childish, as if he never had a proper childhood, and he has a strange sense of humour that recalls so much his father, the Han Solo of which Ren talks about once in a while, always with disdain and spiteful hate. But Hux can read people, even without that mumbo-jumbo, and knows that Ren is still fond of his father.

Hux closes the tap and wipes off his face, hearing in the distance that Ren has opened the door and is shuffling around the ship. He picks up his cigarette staring at his face in the mirror, when the reflection of Ren joins him. He has put on some clothes.

“I'm sorry,” Ren says, an intense dark gaze fixed on Hux's eyes in the mirror, both of his arms are slipping around Hux's waist, “I thought it was fun.”

Hux puffs another cloud of smoke from his mouth, and then turns out the cigarette under a bit of water from the sink. Ren's arms are tightening on his waist, a hand playing with the hem of his undershirt. Hux looks up at the mirror, at Kylo's reflection that now is giving him a small kiss on the neck. 

“Why?” Hux's voice is flat “Why a lobster?”

Kylo shrugs, “I don't know. Found it. Thought it would have make you laugh.”

“I almost shot you.” 

“You didn't have your blaster with you, did you?” Kylo looks at him behind his shoulder, he smells Hux's sweaty hair.

“No. But I could have had it,” Hux shakes his head “I almost shot you, in the dick.”

“Impossible.” Ren says, he turns him over “You love my cock.” he states, the corner of his lips turn up in a pleased smile. Ren reaches Hux mouth to kiss him. 

“True.” Hux replies before kissing him back.

 

**

**Author's Note:**

> (no animal was harmed in the making of this fanfiction)


End file.
